Rumblings of an Idle Lawyer

Dear Diary,

They say keep a diary and some day it will keep you. I understand now what that means. Past two weeks have been awful to say the least. I'm hurting, and I don't know if I should be because as a christian I have learnt to leave a lot of things in God's hands, but this diary, has kept me. I went through the posts, and they reminded me of the sweet days and the bitter days, and something simply reminded me that better days are yet to come.As a human being I know I will see joy and misery, but I know now hat it is part of being alive, and I am going t start embracing all the experiences that life is throwing at me. 

A sister of mine lost her new born on good friday. She had a complicated pregnancy and we were all praying that the baby comes out safe and healthy. The baby was alive when he was born, and he passed away 12hours later, and that's the reason I am so sad. I get so thrown off by infants and premature babies deaths these days. But I want to make use of this pain and do something useful about it. I will start a foundation some day, I will dedicate this foundation to my baby girl, and i will make sure government and private hospitals have enough equipments and trained personnel to deal with premature babies. Fingers crossed

I was praying for this baby to survive. In fact we worked really hard into making sure that my sister was comfortable and healthy, but in the end what happened happened. I miss my little girl, yes it crazy because I never saw her, but I can still feel her, her crazy movements in my tummy. Every time  look at my son, being happy and goofy I can't help but wonder what my life would have been like if my baby girl would have lived. I love her and I will always love her.

On the second note,  had to go spend sometime with my mother. I had missed her, and I know she is always happy to see my baby, her only grandchild. My mother gave birth to me in an almost similar scenario, she is always thankful that I survived. She is among my few angels on this earth. These are people who simply pray for me, and through their prayers miracles happen to me. Others are my siblings and ofcourse my two nest friends.I pray that God keeps them.

I have started my own law firm and a consultancy company. So far business is still slow, but I'm hoping that it will pick up soon. Also I'm not sure I have been giving this my all as I should. I love being in my office though, especially the alone and quiet days, because I think so clearly when its calm and silent. I have started writing again, so that means I'm working on my fictional novel and my other normal stuff blog. I must say its been months that I have been bottling things inside and it feels good to put them down somewere.

My weight has been a struggle since giving birth. I am fluctuating up and down, but for now thank heavens it is going down, steadily slow but down nevertheless. I'm happy with how my clothes fit now, although I still have million miles to go. I'm only down 7kgs and I'm supposed o shed 35 extra. I want this gong to be realized by the end of this year. So I'm gonna put down a plan, of how to go about this and how may kgs I should lose every month and how to achieve the monthly goals. My fingers are crossed. 

For today I have rumbled enough,

Yours Truly,
Rubi.