Dear diary,
I always thought that when I am married or when I meet the right guy I will be ready to be a parent, but I just learned that you are never ready. I always wondered why men, most men are always so scared of such responsibility, the responsibility of being a parent. But now I know, even if the situation is favorable and all odds points o a fact that you should now be a parent, you can never be totally ready, there is always a shadow of doubt lurking somewhere although some greater than others.
Having said that, I am not pregnant. I had a pregnant scare this week but it turns out it was just a false alarm. When I was deliberating on whether to go buy pregnancy test I started thinking of all the things that I always thought my child will have and which I didn't . For starters I don't even have a job, I am studying two schools at once and I have burnt a hole in all my bank accounts. However, at the end of the day I comforted my self with a thought that I was a good person, a hard worker and my baby would have had all the necessary comforts. Well that and the fact that my fiancé is a super nice human being, when I told him about the news he wasn't a bit shocked (well if he did then he did a good job hiding it) that was also reassuring
I still have only two months to go before I finish classes for both programs. I need to start looking for a job now, I am guessing this scare was my que. As great and wonderful and supporting my fiancé is, it will not be fair to enter into a marriage where I will be totally defendant on him. I need to have some sort of financial independence, besides I am very bad at asking for money. I pray that I get a good job soon.
Wedding preparations have started. my side of family have a task of preparing a sendoff party and my mum also has the responsibility of preparing a kitchen party. All this plus all school work is keeping me on my toes. However I thank God for everything that is going on now.
Yours Truly
Rubi
I always thought that when I am married or when I meet the right guy I will be ready to be a parent, but I just learned that you are never ready. I always wondered why men, most men are always so scared of such responsibility, the responsibility of being a parent. But now I know, even if the situation is favorable and all odds points o a fact that you should now be a parent, you can never be totally ready, there is always a shadow of doubt lurking somewhere although some greater than others.
Having said that, I am not pregnant. I had a pregnant scare this week but it turns out it was just a false alarm. When I was deliberating on whether to go buy pregnancy test I started thinking of all the things that I always thought my child will have and which I didn't . For starters I don't even have a job, I am studying two schools at once and I have burnt a hole in all my bank accounts. However, at the end of the day I comforted my self with a thought that I was a good person, a hard worker and my baby would have had all the necessary comforts. Well that and the fact that my fiancé is a super nice human being, when I told him about the news he wasn't a bit shocked (well if he did then he did a good job hiding it) that was also reassuring
I still have only two months to go before I finish classes for both programs. I need to start looking for a job now, I am guessing this scare was my que. As great and wonderful and supporting my fiancé is, it will not be fair to enter into a marriage where I will be totally defendant on him. I need to have some sort of financial independence, besides I am very bad at asking for money. I pray that I get a good job soon.
Wedding preparations have started. my side of family have a task of preparing a sendoff party and my mum also has the responsibility of preparing a kitchen party. All this plus all school work is keeping me on my toes. However I thank God for everything that is going on now.
Yours Truly
Rubi
