Dear diary,
I always have this feeling like I am doing less than what I can actually do with my life. This feeling is always there, constantly and sometimes it makes me restless. May be because I really never try so hard to do anything, most things seems to be happening to me effortlessly, and may be that is why I always feel like I could have done much better with my life. I never tried all that hard in school, but I never failed, and I am not trying too hard now at work but everything seems to be going well.
So, I know it is not new year or anything, but I am making a resolution to try hard and give my best in everything that I do. I want to see what I can ripe if I try really really had. So here is my Plan;
- Give my best at work, always using my brain to its best capacity, be punctual
- I am gonna go to law school and study so hard, for months I will devote my every free time to reading and reading only
- I want to make sure that I spend one hour everyday on my novel, at least five pages per day will be enough.
- Devote my Sundays to My Family , my Soul-mate and My Best friends and at times a little charity work.
So those are my resolutions, and I intend to keep the going. I just believe that there's so much more in me that I am not letting the world have, like you know I have always wished to be a writer, just imagine how many books I would have had If I had started writing then! But its no biggie, I am starting Now so lets see what happens.
Over the few weeks, the only things I have been thinking are my worst nightmares, the bad things that are happening to my life. I have become so edgy and thoughts consumed, and I frankly have gone numb because I do not want to feel the pinch of anything that is happening. And I hate this "Me" so I am going to change for the better, I will start counting my blessings, my talents, all the good people in my life and all the good things in it too.
I have a daughter you know, surely I did not give birth to her, my cousin did and then she abandoned her at my Mum's and left. So, I have since officially declared myself her mum. She is s adorable, and difficult when it comes to food but I love her to bits. So for her, and for my darling soul-mate who always knows how to make my life a beautiful place, I am going to be positive and concentrate on my blessings.
Yours Truly,
Rubi.
