So Random

Dear Diary,

Its been a while, but really my life seems to be fast-forwading itself nowadays. School school school, for some reason I'm never really a good student, and I always believe If I actually take trouble to really study hard I can actually get very good grades. But the sad thing is I really never seem to want to work all that hard when it comes to school. This time I had decided to be very serious with school, considering I paid my own school fees this time, but even so I can feel it in my bones that I'm not doing enough, I'm not giving it all.

I'm really trying, but somehow something else is always more interesting than books, I have crazy number of reading and writing assignments, and somehow I just don't feel like doing any. Anyway, so I'm going to try now, give all that I have and actually can and see where that will lead me. May be I will actually pass after all.

Now, my weight loss, so I know I didn't post my weight loss this week, that's because my friend and I have agreed to refrain from weighing ourselves for a month. We noticed that we were getting addicted to it and now we are taking our time. So a month from last week I will post my weight loss.

So, that's all for today,

Yours Truly
Rubi

My younger Days

Dear Diary,

It has been a crazy week. There seems to be so much to do and yet very little time to do anything really. I have been sleeping late and waking up early, but for some reason right now its 4am and I simply can't sleep anymore. I think I better read something, whenever I read anything "intellectual" sleep always finds its way back to me. All in all school has been hectic.

I'm trying to think of how my life is going to change once I start masters as well. How I wish I had gone to law school when my parents wanted me to :( . But its no use blaming myself now, I am going to make the best use of my time and By God I will succeed.

So, apart from my very busy schedule everything else seems to be going well, my weight watching program is doing great. Its even easy to skip unhealthy foods now, I am so used to this routine that I just don't have to restrict myself anymore. I eat lots of fruits and veggies, and soy beans, and so far so great. Can't wait for sunday to see how much weight I have shed off.

I know this is some sort of a crush program (which I badly needed), but I am going to make all the necessary adjustments to ensure that I maintain the large part of it as my daily routine. Right now I avoid. A lot of meat related stuffs, but after I hit 75kgs I will start including lots of chicken and fish in my diet. I just needed to get back to shape so badly. And I could see myself going back where I was once, and I got so scared.

I remember the first time I knew I weighed 95kgs, it felt like somebody had just placed a big stone on my shoulders. I remember there was a girl who saw me weighing myself and she came near by, and she exclaimed like she had seen a snake when she saw the numbers on the scale, I will never forget that day. Now I was young at that time, less that 15years old, and I did not know what ways to use or do to maintain my weight, but I tried. And for the next four years Up to 2006 I only managed to gain 4kgs, which brought me to 99kgs by the time I finished High school.

I joined college with the same weight, and somehow something felt out of place. But that did not even remotely motivate me into loosing weight. And then I fell in love with a really cute guy (or so it seemed at that time) and I simply wanted to change it all, I started dating him of course, and then all the in securities wouldn't leave me alone so I decided to loose weight, and I did. From 99kgs which I still maintained to 78kgs. And I have never looked better I'm telling you. And it felt so good, and I want to feel that way again, be comfortable in my own skin, so I'm going to try so hard, and hopefully I will get there. Bye bye chocolate and Ice cream :( forever.

That's all for now, write to you soon

Yours Truly,
Rubi.